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Literature Text
This is a ransom note.
It fell beneath the rotting old stairwell,
From your sealed red lips,
Which by now,
Have begun to crumble.
This is a ransom note.
Chock full of the sweet taste,
Of roasted almonds on your tongue,
And golden honey sliding gently,
Down your throat.
This a ransom note.
Your smooth auburn hair,
Floats down around my neck,
And that ruffled orange skirt,
Waltzes in your stead.
This is a ransom note.
All I ask is that you open your eyes,
Soft as the yellow sun,
And take your hand in mine,
But don't let go.
It fell beneath the rotting old stairwell,
From your sealed red lips,
Which by now,
Have begun to crumble.
This is a ransom note.
Chock full of the sweet taste,
Of roasted almonds on your tongue,
And golden honey sliding gently,
Down your throat.
This a ransom note.
Your smooth auburn hair,
Floats down around my neck,
And that ruffled orange skirt,
Waltzes in your stead.
This is a ransom note.
All I ask is that you open your eyes,
Soft as the yellow sun,
And take your hand in mine,
But don't let go.
Literature
Translate
communication:
the exchange of thoughts,
messages, or information,
as by speech, signals,
writing, or behavior.
lack of communication,
between yo_ and me, causes
dista ces to become real
between us and oth_rs
ideal
communicacion, nos falta
entr_ gente y g nte para hablar
usted es usted, y- soy yo
ninguno sabemos como es
para el otro
it is an error
within com+unica-ion
a sort of, stand by
for human emotion,
a lack of, say creativity
fausses
déclaration_ s'a ti ul nt
et distinct causant
malentendu ( it's all misunderstanding )
entre nous nouse nous tous
can't___ tell
ouy
tou gni_nur si emit
es ist na
Literature
For Your Consideration
Consider this:
We're going to go on a date, nothing fancy. Perhaps a burger and movie. Afterwards, I will let you walk me home, or vice-versa. There will be no touching, we will remain as pure as driven snow for this night, this glorious evening which will consist of red checker table cloths, Italian food (we nixed the burger idea, or we will at any rate. Linguini with mushrooms and white wine sauce is a little more elegant, wouldn't you say? Lady and the Tramp, they knew where it was at - we'll just push it up a notch) and coffee, followed by an action movie, any action movie, any movie will do. Consider that.
Rewind:
We met in a cloudy b
Literature
---
His voice broke freedom into black ravens of the night,
Stuck-up youth walking in the wake of a haunting vision,
The gang of love, heartache... so loud they slurred their abuse,
The savage dogs bark to the darkness of your insanity, letting it loose.
Drums,
| The march of our generation is rumbling,
| There's a storm of young lust, brewing in your mind,
:
:
.
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Comments15
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Overall
Vision
Originality
Technique
Impact
I will preface my critique by saying that this is the first truly outstanding piece to catch my eye from the submissions to the #PremiumMembers Valentine's contest.
The use of a repeating line at the top of each stanza keeps the focus strong throughout the poem. The rotting old stairwell is a horrifying place for any of us to be abandoned to, and the slow crumbling death of time drives the image home.
The necessary "almonds and honey", luxurious and vibrant, appear in the second stanza as contrast to the decay of the first.
The third stanza links to the close of the second in the personal message in this ransom note, and the subject is beautiful in the eyes of the ransomer.
The close of the poem is the heartfelt cry that is the true hallmark of a Valentine from the heart -- the real meaning of the holiday.
A beautiful piece, and wonderfully rendered in just four stanzas.